The population wants "rules of conduct that should be followed""

In the Western world, responsibility for moral values and rules of conduct is currently being passed around like a trophy: from parents to schools, from schools to the media, from the media to businesses, and from businesses to the state… Uncertainty everywhere you look. The result: everyone makes their own rules. "Court of values," "code of conduct," and binding "norms" have become foreign concepts. Are we losing our sense of community and our standards of value because fewer and fewer citizens feel responsible for one another? Is the alternative for the future: cohesion or collapse? What still holds society together?
The freer we live, the louder the call for binding commonalities becomes. Increasingly, the question is no longer whether we need clear rules again, but rather what such rules of conduct should look like that are acceptable to the majority and not left to chance or arbitrariness. Germans certainly have clear moral ideas about what should be binding and self-evident for all citizens. At the top of the list is the desire for honesty – in professional life as well as in private life (93%). Three-quarters of the population (74%) believe that one should not defraud the tax office or insurance companies. And two-thirds (67%) are clearly against undeclared work. This is according to a representative survey conducted by the Leisure Research Institute of British American Tobacco, in which 3,000 people aged 14 and over were asked about "rules of conduct that one should follow.".

Collegiality and tolerance: The social glue of society

According to the public, the essential rules that should absolutely be followed include the principles of collegiality and tolerance. This includes the expectation of collegial behavior towards professional colleagues (93%). Tolerance in daily life is valued almost as highly as collegiality. 84 percent of the population believes that tolerant behavior towards strangers and foreigners should be a matter of course for everyone. But what does tolerance mean here? Is it merely passively tolerating diversity and difference? Or does tolerance, in an active sense, mean rather that one knows and acknowledges others in their otherness and actively expresses appreciation for what is unfamiliar? "Tolerance in practice can also mean that even one's own and familiar things are questioned and reconsidered," says Prof. Dr. Horst W. Opaschowski, head of the B·A·T Institute.

Laws cannot regulate everything.
Population: Ability to listen instead of "small talk""

Laws cannot regulate everything – otherwise they become restrictive. This is especially true for interpersonal relationships. Citizens are experiencing that people talk more amongst themselves than with each other. The demands of the population always reflect shortcomings in everyday life. This is the only way to explain why, alongside honesty, consideration – a mixture of empathy and accommodatingness – is cited as the most important social virtue; that is, the ability and willingness to listen to others and respond to them in conversations (91%).
The ability to listen and engage with others in conversations and discussions, even to approach them, is particularly valued by the older generation. This desire intensifies with age (e.g., 25 to 49 years: 88% – 50 to 64 years: 93% – 65 to 75 years: 96%). In advanced age, over 80, the ability to listen is unanimously (100%) considered the highest quality of life. "The very elderly feel isolated primarily socially – and not just physically," says Professor Opaschowski. "Listening provides social support and conveys the feeling of not being alone." The fleeting nature of often brief encounters and conversations can have significant consequences: Short-lived interactions lead to fleeting feelings. A longing grows for a life in which people can truly listen to one another and have meaningful conversations. Otherwise, in the future, there will be professional listeners for lonely people – because no one else will listen.

Politeness among young people today

Over two thousand years ago, the Greek poet Hesiod (700 BC) lost all faith in the future because it belonged to a "frivolous youth" without manners, who were "undoubtedly of an intolerable impudence." Criticism of youth has a long history and is still reflected today in the old German proverb "Youth has no virtue." The representative B·A·T survey, however, presents a much more nuanced picture of young people. Even in the 21st century, young people value conventions. 84 percent of 14- to 29-year-olds believe that respect for authority figures (e.g., parents, teachers, police officers, clergy) should be a given. Three-quarters of young people also believe it is proper to offer their seat to older people on public transportation. And three out of five young people (60%) even mention old conventions such as giving way to women or helping them with their coats. This attitude allows for two interpretations: "New wine in old bottles" or: More wishful thinking than reality. Both are probably true today.
Furthermore, traditional conventions of respect and consideration are increasingly confronted with the challenges of the 21st century, to which young people must find new and unique answers. Opinions on this are quite divided. One in two respondents up to the age of 29 (52%) cites voluntarily refraining from using a mobile phone when it might disturb others (e.g., on public transport) as a desirable rule of conduct. Nearly two-thirds of young people (63%) also believe that one should not talk on the phone for extended periods when there are visitors. The situation is different regarding the use of a personal music player (Walkman) on public transport: only about one in three (31%) is bothered by the use of a Walkman on trains or buses. However, over two-thirds of young people consider it perfectly normal not to forgo listening to music while out and about.
Young people today allow themselves considerable freedom in their interactions with one another. Fifty-six percent find it perfectly acceptable to "go separate ways" at parties. Sixty-two percent also see nothing wrong with regularly pursuing their own sports and hobbies – even if it bothers their partner. And 51 percent of married people consider it normal to regularly "go out with friends without their partner" – and this isn't just among men (m: 52% – w: 50%). Opaschowski: "This suggests potential for conflict in committed relationships among young people, because half prefer to go out alone with friends, while the other half prefers to go out with their partner." If, despite this, they do frequently go their separate ways, there is at least one unwritten rule among young people (84%): never speak disparagingly about your partner to others.

Further information

Further information on this topic can be found in the new book by Horst W. Opaschowski entitled "What Holds Us Together: Crisis and Future of Western Values", which is now available in bookstores (Olzog Verlag Munich, ISBN 3-7892-8091-7, 196 pages) for €19.80.